Birthday and Halloween Success

We’ve had some excellent successes in the last couple of weeks. I’ve just been too busy/sleepy to update!

First, Penny had a birthday party. We haven’t had a party out of our home in years and we haven’t had a party without just family in a few less years than that. Penny is pretty shy and she likes to “social distance” as we like to say (a reason why she rarely gets sick as well).

This year I asked if she wanted a party and she said yes. I asked if she wanted just family or friends and she said “friends”. I checked with her weekly after that and every time she’d say, “yes. Party with friends”. So, that’s what we did.

I didn’t invite her class for my own sanity. A group of children that are Penny or Rory’s age is very triggering to me because I find it hard not to notice the differences between them and their neurotypical peers (that’s a me issue, for sure). But we invited our friends and their kids and we tried to make it as sensory friendly as possible and put very little pressure on her and it went amazing! 

She was particularly excited for her cake that Shamus and I made her. It wasn’t great but it was made to look like a donut. Actually, when I couldn’t figure out a theme for her decorations (Penny was no help with that) my four year old niece suggested “donuts with sprinkles because she likes those”. Brilliant! 

After she ate her cake she stimmed around the table yelling “I’m so excited”. After the party she opened her presents, which didn’t bring her much joy (to each their own) and locked herself upstairs to relax for the rest of the evening (she is my child). 

Our second huge success was Halloween! Halloween has historically been a little stressful to start and once the kids get the hang of the fact that they have to wear costumes and knock on doors without actually walking into into houses, it becomes a bit more relaxing.

This year though, was incredible. I learned after our “trunk or treat” at Easter Seals, that Rory will put on a costume if you dress him outside. Why? I have no idea. But Imma do what works. And wouldn’t you know it, there was no yelling about a costume when we dressed him outside on Halloween night. 

Rory only walked into the first house to look around (which was our neighbours who look familiar to him, so I get that) and then only walked into the porch of one more (when they didn’t answer so Penny opened the door and he walked in).

They let us know when they were done – after about 1.5 hours – and it was the same time that their cousins were done as well.

It couldn’t have gone better. There was no screaming or crying or running into roads or anyone going home early. Just family fun.

This year I also opted not to make them carve a pumpkin, which has been stressful for all of us and we didn’t plan to go to the pumpkin patch. Although, earlier in the day before trick or treating we went for a drive and Rory yelled that he wanted a Pumpkin patch so we immediately drove to Lester’s Farm to find out he just wanted to sit in a wagon. But, because it wasn’t a planned event with expectations it was funny and not stressful. That just autocorrected to “unnecessary” which is also accurate.

This whole parenting thing is a learning curve. But one thing I always learn at the end of the day is to allow them the opportunity to try new things/old things that were unsuccessful and accept the kids where they are. Maybe that means that after 6 years we rent a community centre for a party or show up at a pumpkin patch entrance dressed very much like, “I didn’t expect to get out of the car”

And I can live with that!