Self-Isolation

I feel like every blog post for the next few months is just going to be an update on what we’re doing to pass the time.

This week I had pink eye and a cold so I lacked a lot of motivation to do much except nap. There were a lot of screens. So many screens. Penny is getting the same cold, so she mostly just wants to cuddle up and play on her tabby right now. Normally she wants to be in the master bedroom by herself so that’s slightly different.

I’ve heard the joke going around that Autism families have been training for this self-isolation for years and it’s hilariously true. We’re used to going on long drives to pass the time and not going to planned activities. Penny is actually much more pleasant than she’s been in a while. As much as she enjoys school, being in public exhausts her like it does for me, so we don’t always get the best version of her at home. She’s often exhausted, I’m exhausted, Shamus is exhausted, and Rory is just…Rory. Happy, energetic Rory. I’m not sure he’s ever exhausted unless he’s sick.

This week we’ve been attempting potty training with Rory and it’s going terribly. No accidents because he keeps yelling at us, “Pants! Diaper! Get dressed!” This kid is not particularly verbal, so for him to request that without prompting from us is huge. I feel like we’re stuck between rewarding him for speaking and upsetting him when he has an accident. Potty training causes him so much anxiety and we’re trying to figure out the “why” so we can help him. Kids are hard – even with the 2 professionals we’re currently consulting with to help with this one issue. I think we’re making itty bitty amounts of progress though, which is still something.

I’m not feeling as stressed out as I usually am. My brain is actually not telling me I have to do 1000 things THIS SECOND anymore. I’ve had a couple of over the phone appointments for the kids and a few e-mails to answer here and there, but besides that it’s been super chill. Not having to work right now is probably helping a lot with that too. I struggle to balance work and appointments at the best of times. I wish I knew the plan of when I have to go to work but I’m accepting that it’s out of my control. A part of me hates the thought of leaving my relatively safe bubble and having to trust that others are being cautious, but the other part of me is looking forward to a break from being in the house all day.

My highlight is that I’m really, really enjoying being around the kids all day. I’m like everyone where they also drive me nuts sometimes, but God, their sweet little faces! I just want to kiss them to pieces. I’m feeling grateful for all this quality time together and trying to focus on the positives.

My anxiety needs to cool it though – Penny woke up with a slight cough at 3AM and I was internally screaming that SHE HAS THE COVID and WHAT THE HELL WILL HAPPEN IF I CAN’T GO INTO THE HOSPITAL WITH HER (thanks, meme on Facebook, for putting that into my head). That was yesterday morning and by 3:30 I realized she just had a small tickle in her throat. But, word to the wise: never try to rationalize with me when I haven’t had enough sleep. Shamus was already at work when that happened so luckily no one had to hear my crazy in real-time.

My favourite parts of this week so far:

• Penny saw me playing “Ring Around the Rosie” with Rory and insisted on joining. They hold hands and follow the directions of the song. Penny can even sing the song by herself now! Very sweet and one of our new pastimes. The cutest thing yesterday morning was when I asked Penny if she wanted to play it with me, and she ran upstairs to find Rory in the bathroom and literally dragged him downstairs. Or last night when he laid down instead of participating and she said, “Stand up! Stand up! You have to stand up!” So happy we got it on video – I’ve watched it 1 million times.
• I skunked Shamus in crib (and will hold that over his head until the next time we play).
• Rory riding his potty around the living room like a car. He does it with his little non ride-on vehicles too, but there’s something extra funny about him doing it with the potty. Also, when I looked over once he was standing in the potty with the bucket on his head like a hat. Basically, potty training is going SWIMMINGLY.
• The few extra phrases Penny has picked up that I’ve never heard her say before (it’s echolalia for the most part – phrases she’s heard us or her shows say that she repeats.)
  • When she wants me to help her with something she takes my hand and says, “Come on! Let’s go!”
  • She asked for McDonald’s earlier today and when I said we couldn’t she replied, “LIES!” (which I say jokingly about 7000 times a day).
  • At a stoplight she yells out, “Ready, Set, GOOOOO!”
  • “1, 2, 3 – shake your bum!” during our dance parties. She doesn’t actually know how to shake her bum so it makes it extra hilarious.
• When the kids wanted to dress up with me. Later Penny insisted I dress like a cow and play guitar for her to sing her songs. Shamus also had to dress like a giraffe. And maybe I was still wearing the cow costume even though she had been asleep for hours because it is super cozy. Just maybe.
• When Shamus went to the grocery store and panick bought 1 large stick AND 3 small packages of bologna. We don’t regularly eat bologna. Along with that, he bought a family pack of wieners and 2 packs of bacon. Pigs quiver when he walks past.
• Rory’s new habit of hanging onto me like a spider monkey. He’s about 4 years late on the “wanting to be picked up by mommy” train, but I love it dearly (except when I’m cooking the above-mentioned bacon).

I love how happy everyone seems to be in our house right now. Nothing feels rushed. The house feels calmer (besides the random bickers from me and Shamus because #marriage and #toomuchtimetogether). I have so much anxiety and fear of the unknown, like most everyone, but focusing on the good right now is really keeping me grounded. I miss seeing our family and friends, but I love that we can connect through social media and telephone. I’m also a huge fan of gift drops and all the rainbows in windows.

I recognize that so far, unlike many others, we haven’t been affected particularly poorly. If anyone needs anything at all, please reach out!

Rory reading his favourite story for 7 billionth time

Penny rereading her old schedules from when we were allowed to leave the house. Hilarious and depressing.