Self-Care

I am a strong advocate for self-care. Almost annoyingly so. If I feel stressed, I take a step back and do something I love. I have lists of things that I do for myself. I pride myself on knowing my limits and respecting them.

You know what I always forget is arguably the most important self-care until it hits me in the face? Taking care of my own health.

This past week I’ve been feeling more sleepy than usual (but in fairness I’m always sleepy) and flu-ish, and all around miserable. I thought I was getting an ear infection on Thursday but I ignored the pain, my numb eyelid and face, and swelling lymph nodes. I stayed in bed for a bit on Saturday but as a mom, I literally said, “I don’t have time for this shit”.

On Monday when I woke up after not being able to sleep on my left side due to pain on my face, my eyelid was nearly swollen shut so I finally (and reluctantly) decided I needed to see a doctor. Fun fact: I called 811 (the nurse’s helpline) first but I originally forgot I could call them for myself not just for my kids until my sister reminded me. #momlife

After getting the kids ready and off to daycare and school while still in excruciating pain, my mom picked me up and we went to the doctor to ask for antibiotics. I had full intentions of going to work afterwards because, again, “I don’t have time for this shit”.

Except I don’t have an ear infection, I have shingles.

The rash and numbness I all but ignored on my face – SHINGLES…on. my. face.

We caught it super early and the Opthamologist tells me my eye is okay. I’m taking medication that gives me a killer migraine but I’m hopeful I’ll recover half soon. Or as quick from something that a friend and google tells me lasts usually 2-3 weeks.

As someone who always feels like they don’t have time to be sick and always forgets to delegate – I’m now pretty much bed-bound, blocking out the lights with blankets, and relying very heavily on my husband, mom, and sister.

I have to hand over the reigns and it feels so weird. This is a whole other level of self-care I am not accustomed to. I spent yesterday morning complaining to Shamus that I needed to be productive and can’t…and then I napped.

Shamus generally does a helluvalot (even if I take a lot of it for granted) but there’s a whole other level of stepping up when you spend the evening of your birthday putting eardops in your wife’s ears, handling bedtime and lunches, while your spouse sleeps  – and you also have to get up for work at 2am. So, shout out to Shamus for killin’ it right now because I am so not killin’ it. Except for my killer migraine. That is indeed killin’ it (or me).

So, here’s my plea to all my people to remember your own health when talking about self-care and don’t ignore your symptoms even if you feel you don’t have time to be sick. You very clearly can’t be there for others if you’re ill yourself. I can attest to this as I’ve locked myself in the house while life continues on without me. Shockingly, everything can still keep moving without me stressing over every detail.

*Just as a heads up to anyone who has had contact with me, shingles is not necessarily contagious, especially if you’ve had chicken pox before or had the chicken pox vaccine. If you haven’t, the only way to get it is if you have direct contact with the rash on my forehead (which, if you did, would definitely raise more questions than answers because the rash only showed up on Monday). The doctor told me I likely got it because my immune system was compromised and also “bad luck” – the virus has lived in my body since I had chicken pox 27 years ago. You essentially catch it from yourself.*