Growing Up

In very obvious news, my kids are growing up. A couple of weeks ago, I was having a panic about it. Penny starting grade 2, Rory will be in Kinderstart this year (if it goes ahead) and if not, we’re in the countdown to having two school aged kids, Penny has two loose teeth, and by January we will have a 5 and a 7 year old.

I know why I panic when their ageing hits me. The funny (but not “haha” funny) thing about Autism is that you don’t really know how it will affect someone’s life. It’s a spectrum, as I’m sure you all know, and you don’t know what the future holds for them. I know that a lot of funding and resources get cut off at 18. I know once they leave school, a lot of their support can disappear. As they age, they age out of programs but they don’t age out of Autism. And some people thrive and some people might need extra support. We have no idea what way it will go and it overwhelms me not being able to necessarily prepare.

I’m a planner –  usually because it keeps my anxiety at bay. Hilariously though, I can never tell you what we’re going to have for supper on any given night but I can discuss at length my multitude of ideas for how to we can help support the kids (if needed) when they’re adults. My mind is a complicated place.

Anyways, to get me out of the “panic about the future” mode I was in, I tried to stay mindful of the ways that life is getting a bit easier and more fun as they’re getting older. I mean, they’re only “kids” for another decade or so. That’s not long at all. We have to enjoy this time too.

For example, Shamus and I were able to clean and gut the house on Sunday while both kids were awake. They didn’t get into any trouble while we took our eyes off them for a short time. No one tried to come out behind us when we brought out the bulk garbage. No one got upset when we left their sight.  Did Rory come out into the backyard with not a stitch of clothes on him at one point? Yes…yes he did. But, I mean, he’s able to undress himself which in itself is pretty cool. (Fun fact: he also puts his clothes in random drawers throughout the house so we can never find the clothes he took off. So infuriatingly cute). Also, did they make the house a mess again as soon we were finished cleaning? Absolutely!

I love that they can tell me what they want most of the time now. I hate that it’s usually the sugar, salt, or candy, but I’m pretty sure that’s just kids. Anyone else’s kids eat sugar directly out of the sugar jar? Anyone? Anyone? I probably would too if it were socially acceptable though, in fairness.

Penny started asking us to play hide and seek last week. She never asks to play games. It’s such an amazing thing. Probably not every parent gets emotional every time they’re asked to play a game with their kiddo. I’m a blubbering mess every time…even when she’s clearly doing it to delay bedtime.

We’re letting the kids run free on our family walks now and they’re loving it. We can only do this on paths that are not near roads or near large embankments, but I think it’s seriously making a huge difference in Rory’s temperament when we go out as a family. He really enjoys being outside and he seriously enjoys running. In time I’m sure they’ll figure out that not every bit of water means they can go swimming and that they need to watch where they’re going. On yesterday’s walk Penny even told me she was going to “run like The Flash” and honestly, I have no idea how she knows who The Flash is but I thought that was pretty awesome.

I don’t know where the kids’ influx of words is coming from either but I am loving every minute of it. My favourite examples in the past few days:

We were working on action words with Rory for at least a solid year. He would never say them in front of their Senior Therapist and rarely for us. The other day we were on a Zoom call and she tried again. She showed a picture to see if he would say “jump” or “jumping”. Rory says, “uh…Jumping on a trampoline” (pronounced twam-po-ween). Then for “Watch”/ “Watching” he says, “Watching TV with Nanny!” When we cheered for him he shouted, “I’m a superstar!” and giggled. Because Rory is always giggling.

On Sunday Penny was indicating she wanted to buy several apps on her Tabby ranging from $3.99-6.99.
Me: “Penny, honey, you’re not allowed to buy apps.”
Penny: *sigh* “You’re no fun!”

And the other night Penny had Shamus and I sing the A You’re Adorable song. When we finished she said something to the effect of, “Good job everybody! That sounded great!”

So, I’m probably always going to panic about what the future holds for the kiddos if I think about it for too long. But there are so many fun things about the ages they are now and if I keep thinking too far ahead, I’ll miss it. I’ve never in my life felt the need to quote Ferris Bueller, but if I am going to be all emotional today I’m going all out. I’m not saying you should live your life from the wise words of an 80’s movie but I’m not saying you shouldn’t either.

Here are some cute pictures of the kids being adorable, because they’re pretty much always adorable.