Childcare

I’ve been struggling with getting all the funding approved to send my kids to childcare these past 2 months. I was going to write about how difficult it is to get childcare for a child with exceptionalities and then furthermore, the struggles we face to get funding approved for said childcare if found – and then rant about that. But, that makes me upset to think about, so instead I am going to write about the positives of having my kids in childcare. The reasons I fight so hard behind the scenes to ensure that the kids can avail of (in this case) daycare and day camp – outside of the fact that Shamus and I both work out of the home and need someone to watch the kids. There are so many other positives. This is not to say that having your children home doesn’t also have its benefits, but this is my experience with childcare – quality childcare, specifically.

Socialization.  It’s not much of a secret that socializing can be difficult for those on the spectrum. Penny, in particular, is not a fan of people. I mean, I get it. People can be unpredictable and tiring. But getting her out of her comfort zone and interacting with others has made such a positive impact on her. Whether you like to “people” or not, a social connection is one of the most important parts of being human. And interacting with others her age is so important to give her that connection that she craves, even when she doesn’t always show it in a typical way. Rory, being the social butterfly that he is, also benefits from the socialization. Without it, it really affects him. He is a much happier kid when he can have that connection with others. The kids don’t always socialize the same ways as other kids their age, but you can tell that they enjoy the love. Also, both kids had an explosion of language (particularly Rory) when they started interacting with their peers more.

Routine. Routines are so, so important to the kids. Last week I messed up their morning routine because Penny had an early morning dentist appointment across town and everything went to shit. The kids are much less anxious when they know what to expect from their day. And honestly – same. Although, I had to laugh at Penny when I pulled up to day camp late after her Dentist appointment. I cheerfully said, “Okay, let’s go inside!” and she replied (which is something she very rarely does) with, “no…let’s go home.”

New experiences and skills. If I had more time, less responsibilities, I would probably be motivated to come up with new activities to do with the kids. As it stands at the moment, I have neither of those things so I love that they can go to loving places that provide them with activities that I never would have tried or probably even thought of. The other day at day camp, Penny painted a rock all by herself. She cannot stand doing anything for me that does not involve hand over hand, but she painted an entire rock like a strawberry with some verbal instruction from her respite worker. #superproud. Penny and I would not have the patience with each other to get that done at home, let me tell you. I’m pretty sure it’s a proven fact that kids do less for their parents than they do for others – I’m sure many other parents can relate!

Trying new things. I’ve just learned that the boy who practically survives off bear paws at our house has eaten HUMMUS at daycare. Hummus, guys. Say what you want about peer pressure, but I am here for it if it means my kid tries things like rice, meatballs, and fish (and hummus. I’m still not over the hummus).

Fostering independence. I cannot tell you how clingy Rory was for me while he was out of daycare for 3 months during the lockdown. Attached at my hip. I know that was a special, stressful circumstance, but still. At daycare drop off he helps me get his “snacks” “mask” and then yells “goodbye!” and usually slams the door behind me. I mean the “don’t let the door hit you on the way out” can be mildly offensive, but I am so pleased that he so seamlessly can go out into the world without a mom or a dad and be super comfortable about it. (It’d probably me more difficult for him if his daycare workers weren’t also available for a snuggle haha!)

I think that we absolutely struck gold with everyone who works with the kids. The day camp, respite worker, daycare staff, school and IRT. All amazing.

There is definitely an extra layer of fear sending your non or partially verbal kids outside of the home. There are so many horror stories and it’s really scary to think that they wouldn’t be able to express any wrongdoings, but that is not a fear I currently have when sending my kids out of the house and for that I am eternally grateful.

I would fill out a million forms and make a million phone calls to ensure that they are able to participate in a world they love and that they continue to stay happy, content, and thriving.